What I do know: I absolutely love helping someone become their best self. Not "happy." Not "content." Those are abstract and they drift. Best self is something you can actually work toward, and it's in your hands.

People are my fuel. My ADHD and ENFP brain (if you believe in the Myers-Briggs mumbo jumbo, which I take with a grain of salt, but the description fits me to a tee) fills me with enthusiasm and lets me see the best in everyone. I pick up what people are feeling quickly. That's useful because it helps me understand what's underneath the words. I also tell it how it is. I can be blunt in a nice way. That's the other gift.

Professionally, I spent 25+ years as a founder and CEO. I built two companies and sold both. I've mentored people from their first job out of college all the way into the C-suite. I've built teams that actually liked each other and performed like it. I've created cultures that celebrate who people are instead of sanding them down.

That's the résumé version. Here's the real one.

How I got here

My father came to this country with five dollars in his pocket and an English dictionary in his hand. He drove a yellow cab through the streets of Manhattan for 36 years, a cab he proudly owned, listening to 36 years of other people's stories. My mother went back to school to become a social worker while raising two kids, then spent her career helping seniors and their families get the help they both needed.

Between the two of them I learned hard work, dependability, caring for others, and how human nature actually works. Most of all, they made me believe I could accomplish things. That belief is the thing I try to hand to everyone I work with.

I had my own stuff growing up, like everyone. High emotional intelligence is a gift and a curse. I would sense someone's bad mood and instantly decide I caused it. That turned into a lack of confidence in social situations. Anxiety. Jealousy. A raw sensitivity to any negativity in the room. Learning to manage all of that would end up shaping everything.

In college I bounced from psychology to computer science to marketing before landing on philosophy. I heard "What are you going to do with a philosophy degree?" a lot. My answer: "What am I not going to do with a philosophy degree?" Touché. (Turns out asking why about everything is a pretty good career.)

My first business failed. Think eBay for trading stuff, minus the success. But as we were drowning, contacts kept asking, "Do you know anyone who can build a website?" I suggested to a partner that we start selling websites. He said it was impossible. We knew nothing about it. So I downloaded the software, taught myself, and sold my first website to a local HVAC company for $200. That $200 site turned into a digital marketing agency I sold in 2009. Failure is still progress. It just points you somewhere new.

After the sale I worked inside the ad agency that acquired us. Working at an ad agency had been a goal since college, and I learned a ton there about culture, executive teams, and what makes a group of people click or not. I also learned something less fun. The old anxieties hadn't gone anywhere. Do my coworkers like me? Am I wanted in this meeting? Am I disappointing someone? My self-induced anxiety was running the show.

Then my daughter was born (she's in high school now, which is its own story). Everything changed. I always wanted to be a father, and she made me want to live up to my potential for something bigger than me. So I quit the cushy job and took the biggest risk of my life. A new agency. No clients. No employees. Not even a name.

I went step by step. Found a partner willing to take the leap, mostly because I showed him I believed in him. Worked like crazy to sign deals. Poured in all my savings (thin ice, tbh) until we landed our first major client.

That company is where I found myself. I realized my best self was helping other people achieve, which in turn helped me achieve. The deep empathy that used to make me anxious became one of the reasons people trusted me. I watched people I hired at entry level become C-level executives. I coached executives on client teams too, giving them honest advice about their organizations whether they wanted to hear it or not. They listened because they knew I cared. And they knew I cared because I actually did. Every negative emotion that used to hold me back turned into a strength.

On a parallel track, my wife and I were raising two kids through all the ups and downs of being parents and partners. Career stress. Risk. Draining friendships. Aging parents. Money. Showing up the way you want to across every part of your life is hard, and some days it's impossible. I know that firsthand.

After 13 years as CEO, the company was acquired. My team of 35 moved over to the new organization. Bittersweet, moving on from something that special. But sometimes it's OK to be selfish. Self-care is part of the deal. If you can't take care of yourself, how do you take care of anyone else? And that sale gave me the best feeling there is. Achievement. Doing something difficult you truly sacrificed for is like earning a scout badge for your best self. Nobody can take it off you.

Where I am now

The social anxiety and oversensitivity are still there, under the surface. On my worst days they pop up, say hi, mess up all the papers on my desk, and run away laughing. None of this is a finish line. It takes daily maintenance. I keep moving forward, surround myself with people who bring out the best in me, and never stop helping others.

Here's the honest truth. Helping other people achieve is how I manage my own challenges. It's symbiotic in all the best ways. I don't just like coaching people. I need to.

After a few years helping the two companies integrate, I'm looking for the next people I can help. Maybe that's you.

Becoming the person you know you're capable of being is an achievable goal. You control that. You just do. It won't guarantee business success, or perfect relationships, or some level of happiness. What it does is put you in position to get those things.

If you're an executive, I can also do the specific stuff. Solve the problem in front of you. Be a sounding board. Be a second set of eyes on a big decision. I have a knack for spotting organizational issues, I'll be blunt about what I see, and I'll call you out if you need it. Nicely. Mostly.